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Thursday 30 May 2013

Antarctic stay

stumbling across the icy dessert Shaun had been ditched by navy for a course to see if he was worthy . Shaun had to live off the land . people actually thought he would make it , I mean he would,he was muscular and hulking and his last name was Jennings. Who wouldn't fear that name. As night attended Shaun had find somewhere to stay for the chilly night.

Shaun found a place to stay but Shaun isn't satisfied so he went looking.

Rapidly Shaun accelerated to chase a deer to feed on. scurrying Shaun chased the deer like it was the end of the world. but suddenly the deer stood on a enormous twig that hit his head and knocked him out and had been buried under the freezing cold ice. As the deer leaped away. Shaun dug himself out as he gazed upon the deer.Shaun was very annoyed as he tragically stumbled away.

Three days later Shaun was found on the N.a.v.y vessel safely heading home. Shaun was very ecstatic after the Chief.Reynolds told him he had graduated to become a life saving navy worker. and had only a couple wons, cut and bruises from that knocked out .

2 comments:

  1. Some great ideas in your story Louis and I really like your use of beautiful descriptive language to help enhance your writing.

    Please take extra care when editing for things like capital letters to begin sentences and make sure that full stops are in the right place. Also a picture really helps make the post more appealing to your audience.

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  2. Hi Louis great story. I love your vocabulary and make sure you check your capital letters at the beginning. But awesome story.

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